I just read a friend’s blog, about her first experience drinking a Starbucks coffee. She never drank coffee before. Had no real interest in it. But then one day something called to her … same came in … and ordered her first drink. One sip and she was hooked (her own words). Now it’s a regular part of her routine, looking forward to the next delicious Starbucks-powered caffeine fix.

She’s a great writer and you’ll enjoy the blog.

But I found myself having an … interesting … emotional reaction to it. The blog (and its many caffeine-rich pictures) really described “the American Addiction” all too well.

One was a picture of a Starbucks drink with the words “might as well call it crack” written next to it. Another was an IV bag with, you guessed it, coffee inside.

At the beginning of her story, she shared how she didn’t know what to order. “I’ve never been in a Starbucks before and I don’t like coffee. … What do you suggest?”

“I could see [the cashier's] eyes widen with shock.

I could hear the whispers all around me.”

lol. Perfect description.

Apparently the drink she ordered didn’t even have coffee in it. And still she fell in love!

What power does this Starbucks have??

I’ve been there before. I ordered a drink once or twice. Yes, it tasted good. But, for some reason…perhaps by divine salvation alone…I was saved, I was spared becoming the next addict, the next all-too-eager-to-give-them-my-cash customer! hehe.

I’m immune to Starbucks.

*whew*

I don’t drink caffeine. When I was a teenager, I used to do it a lot. Never in coffee (still can’t stand the taste), but I did a lot of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, you name it… And caffeine is a drug. You get used to the buzz. Soon a “coke” isn’t enough. You need more. Bigger. Stronger. Higher-powered.

One day I drank a little too much.

I felt sick. There was this rumbling, this turning, this felt-like-a-bad-nuclear-reaction inside my stomach.

Yuck.

I realized this stuff probably wasn’t so good for my body.

It turns out, I learned years later, that caffeine not only burns up your body’s nutrients faster, but also does nasty things like dehydrate your spinal cord. Yikes.

But whatever. I’m not here to rag on coffee or tell you to drink more water and fresh juices…although it’s MUCH healthier for you. :) Actually, I’m writing this blog for a different reason.

After reading my friend’s blog, celebrating her new addiction … part of me felt, well, left out.

Strange as this sounds, I wanted to be addicted to something too.

So many people I know … they need alcohol to have a good time, or caffeine to wake up, or TV to be entertained, or cigarettes to relax, or marijuana to escape life’s problems… (Hey, I live in L.A., remember?)

I’ll drink alcohol, once in a blue moon. Again, never really acquired a taste for it. I don’t need caffeine to wake up. A good night’s sleep, good breakfast, and hot shower usually do it for me. TV … I don’t even own one. I like watching movies every once in a while. And I do miss some favorite TV shows. But the price of cable is just too high. It’s not worth it. And smoking? Can there be a more disgusting habit? And pot…the “natural” alternative. Well, let’s just say it’s an expensive habit to need something external to change your internal emotional state. What about a real natural high? You know, one where my own brain releases its own feel-good chemicals … just because life is good and worth living. :)

Please understand, I don’t mean to sound self-righteous or anything like that. I don’t judge people who need or use these other things. I just feel a little … left out.

I work hard to manage my own emotional states, so I have to need alcohol or drugs. And when life gets tough, I find other outlets for my pain. I write. I go out for a run or hike. I pray and talk to God about it. I masturbate. Or something. lol. I use my pain as channeled energy, to do what I need to do, to make life better, for real … for lasting.

I refuse to be someone who settles for mediocre jobs, mediocre relationships, a mediocre life.

But we all find ourselves in one. Some of us “escape” … go into denial, really. “Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s okay that we only like each other, not really love each other. Yeah, my job’s boring and unfulfilling, but at least it pays well…”

A few others … very, very few others, it seems … do something about it. “I deserve better, I want better. I’m going to do something to make it better.” Quit a job, start a business, take their relationship to a new level, or end it, or something.

People get depressed so they take a pill to no longer feel depressed, but the truth is, what’s depressing them is still there!

What if we changed what we didn’t like into something we did like … and naturally stop feeling depressed, and suddenly no longer need to spend all that money on medicating ourselves until the day we die!?

But corporations won’t tell you that. There’s no profit in that.

They’d rather let the problem stay, so you can keep coming back to them for temporary “instant fixes.”

I’m not talking about coffee any more.

Life is harder when you look for real, lasting solutions instead of quick, cheap, easy instant patches. But it’s the life I’m choosing.

Which means looking for solutions other than alcohol and endless hours of TV, for example.

But at the same time, there’s a feeling of isolation that comes with it. I won’t lie to you. These common addictions are all one less thing I have in common with others. One less things I can bond with and talk to others about.

I don’t take cigarette breaks at work … but every time I see people standing outside for a quick fix, they’re with others doing the same thing. I don’t enjoy going out to bars or clubs on a Friday night … but alcohol seems to be a primary and preferred method of socializing for adults. It’s how — and why — we get together.

And sex… I don’t even want to get started out that. But I feel really left out for having waited, having “saved” myself all this time. I don’t even have a dirty mind. Sure, I joke and interject about sex now and then … but I’m really not as obsessed with it as everyone else. I’ll make a comment in passing about something, for example, totally innocent and naive, not realizing that what I just said had some dirty or sexual innuendo.

It’s one less way I relate with others.

Being addiction-free is lonely.

It’s healthier. It’s much happier. And cheaper, too! lol.

But in the world today … or at least in cultures like Los Angeles … it can be pretty lonely too.

So when I read that blog today … part of me wanted to become a coffee addict too. Not that I need or want or even like coffee. But I want to be a part of something. I want to belong. I want to feel like I’m one of something, like I fit in, like I have a common “addiction” to share with others.

The desire to belong is a powerful one.

It’s probably why teenagers start drinking and smoking in the first place.

I don’t blame them.

So where do I belong? Who are my people? Where do I fit in?

As a teenager, I was told it’s “normal” to feel like you don’t fit in. Apparently everyone felt that way. (Again, probably why they started bad habits back then.) But when do I start to feel like I belong, like I do fit in somewhere?

Spirituality is probably one of my defining traits. That’s my world, my realm, right?

But I’m no longer Catholic. My real life experiences and consequent beliefs make me incompatible with certain core Christian dogmatic teachings. But I’m not Buddhist or Pagan or Hindu or others, for many similar reasons. There’s a lot of truth is many religions. But I can’t fully and totally align myself with just one — because I know I’d be missing important pieces found in others.

If I belonged to a certain religion, I’d probably be studying to become a priest or equivalent in it. And I have no interest in starting a new religion either. So I call myself “spiritual, but not religious” … which is great, but where does that fit in exactly? I meet lots of “spiritual, not religious” people — some of them very wise, loving, beautiful souls — some of them quite crazy and flaky.

Earth has never felt like my home.

My life coach friend tried helping me figure out where I wanted to move, back when I was seriously thinking about leaving L.A. “Where’s home — or what does home feel like?” she asked me. I listed a whole bunch of traits and characteristics, all of which were about non-physical things.

Love, peace, joy, laughter — harmony, cooperation, abundance …

Heaven?

It’s not my time to leave this planet yet… but while I’m here, I miss my Home so very, very much.

I wonder … is there a way to bring home Here?

Maybe that’s my mission in life.

Maybe we’re all a little lost, a little lonely, a little homesick…

Maybe we’re having trouble finding our way back to our real home…

Maybe I can help others find their way home, by bringing home to them.

For anyone who’s interested, for any who desire.

No race, no religion, no creed, no gender, no social, no economic, no sexual orientation, no discriminatory fact or status of any kind. ALL…all are welcome.

Even the Starbucks addicts. ;) heheh.

Love, your homesick friend,
David Michaels

for more, check out:
www.spiritualsmarts.com

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!