I know I can be so much more.

More than I’m currently manifesting in my life.

My soul’s not lost (re: Breathe Life Into Me blog).  I abandoned it.  Gave up on it.  Buried it under self-doubt, limited beliefs, old hurts, fears, and stuff like that.  Which is good news.  Because if I buried it, if I abandoned it — I have the power to un-bury it, to re-connect with it.

I’m destined for greatness.

I think because I chose it.  The alignment of the stars or divine appointment might have had something to do with it, but we also have free will, and it is in my heart to be great.

Which means, if you want to be great too, you can.

Just choose your destiny.

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This is a difficult blog to write.

Please don’t judge me.

I… um… this is going to sound so silly. It’s stupid. But I have to admit it. For myself.

I am a perfectionist.

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Here’s an interesting article I came across. I’ve never been to Nevada, except in passing. Haven’t even gambled in Vegas yet. But I’ve always wondered what it would be like to talk to a legal prostitute and understand what their life is like. Jordan C. Butler decided to find out…

By Jordan C. Butler
Tuesday, May. 6, 2008 @ 1:16 am

My column at The Nevada Sagebrush has been a zany one. This year I proposed to replace the geese at Manzanita Lake with gorillas, endorsed an ASUN presidential candidate for having “very competent breasts” and gave satirical advice on how to successfully have one-night stands (the secret is lots of lying and alcohol). I also took jabs at Davidson Academy children, Coffin and Keys and even God Himself.

Since I’m graduating this month and leaving for Madagascar to teach English for two years, I wanted to make my last column go out with a bang. So I did what any zany Nevadan student columnist would do: I went to a brothel to cuddle and talk about current events with a prostitute.

Why wouldn’t I? Apart from being a funny story, I’d get to learn what goes on inside brothels. Legal brothels, like gambling and quick marriages, are a part of Nevadan culture. They’re a part of our state’s history. Having spent my entire life in Las Vegas and Reno, I was astounded that I hadn’t visited a brothel before.

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My day job has been getting worse and worse.

In case you’re a new reader, I do courier/messenger work for a living.  I pick up and deliver same-day packages and documents throughout San Diego County.  When I was hired, my employer told me the drivers were averaging $150 a day in income, doing about 150 miles per day of driving.  This has not been the case.  On average, I was doing 200-250 miles per day, and as I quickly discovered, earning only $100-120  per day on average.  Some days I’d do really well, like when I got a rare out-of-county delivery which pays really well.  On those days I’d sometimes make as much as $200, or even more, with only about 330 miles on the car that day.  Consistently, overall, I was making around $120 per day — for a while.

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