David’s Journal

As I get ready to head to Florida and begin the next phase of my journey and life adventure, I find myself feeling a little sad about leaving.  San Diego really is beautiful.  The energy here is great.  The people are real.  The mountains and ocean … gorgeous.

Thanks to my work schedule and hours, I didn’t get to meet up with as many people as I would have liked.  It’s sad.  Some people, internet friends, I would have really liked to meet … but our schedules continued to conflict, and we remain just online friends.

One was a particular girl who I find very attractive — inside and out.  We always meant to meet up.  It just never happened.  She was free when I was working; I was free when she had other obligations.  I gave her my phone number, but never got hers.  Maybe she worried I was just another guy trying to hit on her.  Maybe she thought I was only trying to get into her pants.  I don’t know.  All I know is I would’ve liked to get to know her better.  Enjoy a chat over a smoothie while watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.  But I never got that chance.

I can’t blame her.

I was busy too.  I had weird hours and worked weekends, stuff like that.  That certainly didn’t help.  Maybe she was scared, too.  It reminds me of the times when I could’ve met someone else, but didn’t.  Like that girl with the black hair, sitting on a swing at Santa Monica Beach.  I wrote a blog about her.  It was called “Girl I’ll Never Know.”  She seemed interested in me.  I thought she was cute too.  But I was too scared.  And I walked right past, without saying a word.

It’s sad.

She could’ve been a friend.  Maybe even a girlfriend.

But now I’ll never know.

Life goes on.

Missed opportunities pass.  We hope and assume new ones will always come.

But they don’t always.  People move.  Things change.

I’m heading to Florida.  I suppose I can always come back to L.A. or San Diego anytime — I just don’t feel like I will.  At least not for a while.

I could be wrong.

Who knows.

I could win the lottery and decide to fund my entertainment company dream, set up shop in L.A., and begin to change the future.

Or I could move to Hawaii.

Or stay in Florida.

Or die.

Or fall in love and get married and build a time machine and travel into the future with my new wife and travel around space in a giant starship like on Star Trek and boldly go where no early 21st-century human has gone before!  lol.

Maybe.

My point is, there are only so many opportunities.  Only so many chances.

For anything.

To meet a girl and say hi.  To say I love you.

To go to the beach.  To go on vacation.  To follow a dream.  To live a life worth living.

Only so many chances.

I’m young.  I’m healthy.  I’m reasonably attractive.  I’ll probably have many more opportunities to meet girls, go on dates, steal kisses, and things like that.  :)  But I don’t want to miss too many more opportunities.  Life is short.  Too short.  Even if we live to 500 years, life is still too short.

I don’t want to have to come back in a second life to make up for missed opportunities in this one.  I want to live this life, now.

There’s only so many opportunities.

If not now, when?

That’s a serious question.  If not now, okay, but when?  And why not now?

Time is ticking.

Tick-tick-ticking.

Slipping away.

Like water through our fingers.

Like so many transient things in this material world.

Material is good.  We’re here, in physical realilty, for a reason.  Enjoy it.  Use it.  Appreciate it.

Time is ticking.

Opportunities are passing.

Are you going to stand still there, afraid to move, afraid to take a chance, afraid to make a leap, no matter how small?

Are you?

If not now, when?

I will miss San Diego.  And I already miss the lost opportunities I never got to enjoy here.  But time is moving on.  And so am I.

New adventures, new friends, new opportunities await me there — and/or wherever else I go next.

That’s one primary reason I’m going to Florida now.  The time, the opportunity, is here present for me now.  Do I wait?  Do I let it pass?  Do I hope and pray there’ll be another opportunity, at some “more convenient” time, to go see my family and friends that I have been missing for years?

No.  Today’s the day.

I don’t know what the future holds.

Who cares?

The present holds an opportunity, a chance, and I’m taking it.

A chance to heal wounded relationships.  A chance to connect with old friends.  A chance, maybe, to rediscover a part of myself I left behind when I ran away.

A chance.

I’m taking it.  Sorry to those of you here who I didn’t get to spend much time with.  The current of life is taking me in a new direction.  For those of you I did meet, for those of you I did get to spend time with: thank you.  Thank you for taking the chance, for taking the opportunity, to be with me in the present.

I appreciate you.

Love,
David

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