David’s Journal

I’ve heard this before. It’s usually the things we didn’t do that we most often regret in life. I’ve heard this from young people, I’ve heard it from old people. I’ve heard it from rich and successful people, I’ve heard it from the poor and lonely… And everybody in between.

We’re always afraid of doing the wrong thing, and later regretting it. Always worrying about “what if” and what could go wrong. And, I guess, sometimes the worst does happen, and sometimes we do end up regretting the choices we’ve made, the actions we’ve taken.

But most of the time? It’s the things we didn’t do, but wanted to.

For me, I feel I’ve been pretty brave in most areas. I took major financial risks and started companies. I followed my heart out to California. I challenged and shook my spiritual beliefs to the core, in search of the truth. Some of my choices … well, all of the things I just mentioned … all were pretty difficult, pretty painful.

Businesses failed. Money was lost. Credit cards maxed out and I fell into financial ruin. But I lived.

It took three attempts to actually stay in California. The first two times I moved back to Florida for a while. And even once I was out here, there’s been challenges and struggles with jobs, crazy roommates, not enough money, feeling lonely, etc. But I lived.

My spirituality? I watched my religion, a huge part of my life — a huge part of my identity — crumble and fall apart before my eyes. The deeper I dug for answers, the more rapidly it all unraveled. I felt lost, uncertain, confused … having far more questions than answers. But it was too late to go back. You can’t un-learn what you know. You can’t un-experience what you’ve gone through. My entire spirituality, my very perception and understanding of who and what God is, had to change, evolve, expand. I lost a lot of comfort, convenience, and security I had in my old belief system. Now I walk in much more mystery and uncertainty. My spiritual path is largely about exploration and the unknown now. And it challenges me daily.

But I live.

People say that what doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger. In my experience, that’s been mostly true. But why be stronger?

Having strength just means you can handle more pressure, more difficulty, more pain…

Which, of course, makes you even stronger, so now you can handle even more and more than before!

Why?

Where does it end?

What purpose is there in being strong?

Does it bring me more joy? Does it make me feel more complete? Does it make me feel more loved?

No. I can feel those things with or without strength.

Strength is about endurance and power. It’s about ability.

I’m stronger now. I have the ability to pack up and move across country at will now. I don’t have the fears I used to have. Those don’t paralyze me like they once did.

I have the strength and courage to continue my spiritual quest, to continue asking questions and seeking answers.

I don’t fear taking financial risks either. Because I’ve lost money and still lived. I’ve faced the brink of bankruptcy and life still goes on.

Strength empowers us to take more chances — more risks — more freely, more readily.

Strength gives me the power to hold on, to hang in there, to endure… To make it through whatever obstacles and challenges lay before me and my dreams.

Strength itself does not make me happy, does not give me more love.

But strength is a power, to achieve more, to experience more, to go out and live more.

To take more chances.

That’s why we become strong.

So we may be free.

To do what we want to do, to get what we want to get, to enjoy the experiences we want to have.

But nobody tells us that. At least, nobody ever told me that. All I ever heard was “be strong.” All I was ever told was “hang in there.” All I was ever offered was “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

No one ever said why anybody wanted to be stronger. It was just assumed that strength was the goal. That strength, in of itself, was the purpose and the reason.

Strength is not the goal. Strength is the power, the fuel, the ability to get to your goal — whatever it may be!

This sounds like “no duh” common sense as I write it, but I’ve honestly never thought of it this way before. I just felt like I was always getting stronger, to get even more stronger.

Growth is a beautiful thing. But growth undirected is meaningless.

There needs to be some purpose, some guide, some direction — some goal and reason — for building strength.

Don’t be strong just to be strong. That’s meaningless. Unless you’re using your strength, what difference does it really make whether you’re strong or not?

Find a goal, have a dream — have something to be strong for, something that your new strength will help get you to.

And take a risk.

Not just any risk, not some random or meaningless risk. That’s just stupid.

Take a risk doing something you’ve always wanted to do. Take a risk going after your heart’s desire. Take a risk trying to get what you want.

In love. In business/career. In life.

Maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t. That’s the risk.

Maybe it will hurt, maybe it will be long and difficult — maybe it won’t.

That’s risk.

But it’s the lesser risk. The greater risk, I’ve learned from others, is not doing, is not trying, is not going for it. It’s waking up one day at 40, 50, or 80 years old — and realizing your opportunity is gone.

As brave as I’ve been in other areas of life… there’s still a couple places I have let fear hold me back thus far.

I already start to regret not doing, not trying, not putting my heart on the line and going for it.

Fortunately, for me, it’s not too late. I still have a chance to step up, face my fears, and do it anyway.

I want a full and complete life. To do that, I can’t let fear stop me from taking chances toward what I really want in life.

Fear. Guilt. Emotional obligation. Self-limiting thoughts. All those things are enemies of my dreams.

How much longer will I let myself let them have power over me?

…

Your friend,
David Michaels

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